I love Coffee - Coffee hates computers

Two of my colleagues, who I have coffee with, tell me this tale several times a week. Students are always bringing in their shiny new laptops; apples, PC's - it makes no difference. They are now deep into their degree, or their Masters degree or their Phd and their life is on their laptop.
And they have spilled hot coffee into the thing. Hot coffee. Into a lap top computer. And while it is running. Coffee and laptops make for a lethal combination almost 100% of the time. Ok. Maybe 90% of the time provided you are lucky enough to be drinking black coffee.

Organic. Fair trade. Bird friendly. It makes no difference. If you spill anything, including water, into a lap top computer, it is almost always a death sentence. Good bye data. Good bye thesis. Good bye dissertation.

My two coffee buddies are, by the way, Apple certified technicians - and they see an endless stream of coffee related tragedy.
For us, at coffee time, this rich hot zippy beverage is a God send. I love coffee. They love coffee. We are surrounded by coffee lovers.
And if you are a student, coffee is the fuel that gets you through those never ending all night cram sessions.

But their MacBook Pro's hate it.

One mouthful of Ethiopian Sidamo and I am singing. Four fluid ounces of Arabica coffee poured into an i-Book generally results in tears. I kid you not. We have seen more than our share of pouty faced girls and sad-sack boys whose second biggest academic investment (next to their tuition) has just gone up in a puff of smoke... and a very recognizable scent of _Starbucks_.

And the only thing that fixes it is a call to Mommy or Daddy... or not.

A student asks: "My computer is dead... I spilled my coffee into it... I have the extended Apple warranty on it... Is it covered?"

Technician Mike or Al replies... "This is a warranty program, not an insurance policy..."

And yet the average college or University age person who has invested almost 2000 dollars in their computer and software feel that they are covered. But they are not. And for good reason. The other recent enemy of the delicate laptop is the physical abuse it gets on the way to and from the cafe or dorm. Imagine getting stuffed into a pack-sack 3 or 4 times a day. Picked up. Dropped. Squished in next to your lunch... or into tight spaces. No warranty covers abuse. Try and remember that kids!

Coffee (or Beer) spilled into your 17" Dell is a sure fire ticket to the loans office. There is no second chance. Coffee, by itself (black) is an almost certain path to mother-board melt-down. Add cream or sugar and there is no chance of survival. Why? The fruit acids in coffee eat through the delicate circuitry faster than airplane glue through styrofoam - and the liquid (water content) shorts stuff out guaranteeing permanent death - sorry, no coma! There is something in milk (Lactose) that reacts with the motherboard resulting in something with the processor power of a slice of burnt toast! Not good.

So what is the fix? Well. There isn't one. When I walk into Victoria area cafes (especially ones that have wireless access) - almost each and every table has someone at it with a lap top computer - and a tall mug of joe... in close and dangerously flirtatious proximity.

What do we, the technicians, do? Well, we preach and preach - if we see a student with an open lap top near a steaming mug of mud, we let them know the stats - even if we come off as worry-wart geezers.

Frankly, I would rather not have to work on someones fried MacBook pro - because in the end run, there is only bad news, sadness... and tears.

All for the love of the coffee bean.

Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts)

Colin Newell lives and works in Victoria B.C. Canada at a local University - Coffee is his best friend... but he knows that coffee has a mortal enemy... called the lap top computer!